You're drinking, aren't you?

After last night's episode, can you blame me if I was?

thou MUST own at least 1 piece of O History by collecting some vintage pieces,

thou must always 'tell the time' from an Oakley timepiece...

III.YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER BRANDS BEFORE OAKLEY.

IV.THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGE, OR ANY LIKENESS OF ANYTHING THAT IS NOT OFFICIALLY OAKLEY, OR THAT IS FOUND AT THE FOOTHILL RANCH,HQ.

V. SIX DAYS THOU SHALT LABOR, AND DO ALL THY WORK: BUT THE SEVENTH IS RESERVED FOR THE PURCHASE OF OAKLEY PRODUCTS. THEN THOU SHALT LABOR SIX MORE, AND SO ON AND ON...

Now all we need it Dann in a robe holding tablets on top of a mountain.

Thou shalt buy from local dealers where possible, and reserve online sellers as a last resort (unless you're getting a really, really good deal).

Thou shalt exempt SGH and other chains from thy list of "local dealers", unless it's Phil's store. Or mine.

O-Law????????

everyone: O-LAW!!!!

Seriously, can we get Burt Reynolds in here?

Thou shalt display thy eyewear of other brands separately from thy Oakleys. Ideally, thou shalt have no other eyewear before Oakley, or even after.

Unless they were free, because I really don't want to have to get rid of the $3000 worth of Maui Jim, Serengeti, and other assorted knickknacks collecting dust on my windowsill.

Thou shalt enter the freakin' chatroom right now.

Oakley is the one true god and FP is his prophet.

Thou shalt own at least 1 of something in each area besides just glasses - Timepiece, Shoes and Clothing....and strive tirelessly for appropriate contraband to display it on/in.

An O-Collector shall never cease to obtain the coveted Stretch Tower...

don't remind me about that.. strech tower.. ahhhhh

snobs...

crying..


Whyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!


Oakley towers should be seen as empowering pieces..

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out

LMAO, and then thou shalt pull the pin from the holy handgrenade of antioch and thou shal lobbeth it at thine enemy.... haha

-Thou shalt always try thine best to aid people who are searching for sunglasses at a sunglass store, to follow the proper path, and wear oakley.

-Thou shalt shun all sunglasses but oakley

-Thou shalt not have false idols (no FOAKLEYS!!)

-thou shalt always put Oakley first when it comes to shopping

-thou shalt let the person know wearing fake Oakleys that hes wearing a knock off

-thou shalt not use Oakleys name in vain

thou shalt not be made fun of for spending over 40 hours a week in an o-store

and yes, even though I work there I still get made fun of for being there that often.

thOu must spread the gOOd wOrd, and gOOd Optics as much as fiscally pOssible, all hOliday shOpping can be dOne at One stOre if yOu lOOk in yOur heart it will stand Out tO yOu

Thou shalt never pass a sunglasses store without inspecting their stock of Oakleys no matter the amount of attitude one gets from one's wife.

That said, It shall be universally known that if Oakley products are in one's proximity, at least a brief inspection is mandatory.

The whole of the sun's rays, whether direct or reflected shalt never be allowed to reach one's eyes without first being filtered by Plutonite.

Thou shalt recognize only Omnipodann & his Modsciples as powers absolute or they shall cast thine GreySkull down upon thee.

Whether positive or negative thy reviews shalt be clear & sound.

Watch thy wallet.

Thou shalt never leave their cabinet keys unattended! and thou shalt always have a key to their display on each keyring at all times! Safe keeping is important.

Thou shalt never pass a sunglasses store without inspecting their stock of Oakleys no matter the amount of attitude one gets from one's wife.

that also applies for any other oakley product, such as apparal / footwear / accessories

the wife can wait

You shall always celebrate the day you bought your first Oakley.